


I Just Need To Breathe

by whoopsydaisie



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Cosette, Canonical Character Death, Death(s), F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Parent Valjean, Poor Marius, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoopsydaisie/pseuds/whoopsydaisie
Summary: Marius can't breathe.  Cosette is trying.  Valjean knows all.





	I Just Need To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while watching AMC Humans in about two hours and I know this is crap, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

_Marius had...issues.  He flinched when people brushed by him and he shook much more than he did a few months ago.  He could still hear their screaming._

_Anyway, it wasn't like he couldn't function as a normal human being.  Well, when had he ever been normal?  He knew that Valjean watched him carefully, especially when he was near Cosette.  He knew that Valjean worried about him being potentially dangerous.  Valjean had never explicitly stated that, but Marius figured that if he were Valjean, he would worry, too.  Marius also knew that he would never do anything to hurt Cosette. He would die first._

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

"Marius, love, just breathe-"

" _R, no!"_

"It's okay, it's just me and-"

_"Where's Combferre?  No, get out of the way!"_

_"_ Breathe, darling, it'll-"

_"Run!"_

_He heard his heart pounding in his ears as he tried to spot Enjolras in the sea of red._

_"Marius, help!"_

_"Marius, get out of the way!"_

_"Mar, where are you?"_

_He turned sharply, trying to respond to Courfeyrac._

_"Marius!"_

"Marius!  Listen to me!" 

Marius inhaled sharply and looked up at Cosette.  Her hand was brushing the hair away from his forehead and she smiled sadly down at him.  He realized that he was curled next to a wall with his hands covering his ears.  He could still hear gunshots and the screams of his friends as they fell.  He felt angry with himself for not saving at least some of them.  He didn't understand why he should live when they all died. That thought passed quickly as a more rational one took its' place.  He was grateful to Valjean for saving him; if not for his own sake, but for Cosette's.

 His heart was slowed down and air rentered his lungs.  Cosette was still stroking his hair and shushing him gently.  He felt terrible and sweat was dripping down his face.  

"Cosette, I'm s-sorry," he began blearily.

"No, no, it's okay.  You're okay.  It was just a nightmare.  How's your breathing?  You need to take a few deep breaths, okay?"

He nodded silently and took in his surroundings, trying to reorient himself.  He was home with Cosette.  They had both gone to bed, judging by Cosette's night gown and her hair sticking out in several directions.  He rubbed his eyes tiredly and then closed them.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," he whispered.

Cosette knelt down and rubbed his back.  "It's okay," she whispered just as quietly as he did.  "We should go back to sleep.  We're meeting my papa for breakfast, remember?"

After a minute of silence, Marius nodded and stood up, taking Cosette with him.  He pulled the blankets back onto the bed. His chest felt tight and he still felt a bit short of breath. He didn't want to imagine how much thrashing he had done that caused the blankets to come off completely.  He couldn't remember how many times he had woken Cosette up with him screaming his friends' names and his heart pounding like he was running a marathon.  He was sure that Valjean had seen the dark circles under her eyes, and he hoped Valjean didn't figure out why.  It wasn't fair that Cosette had to lose her sleep just because he got scared.  With a sigh that brought him no relief, he reached an arm around Cosette and closed his eyes.

\---------------------------------------------------

The next morning Cosette and Marius walked hand in hand to a little cafe.  He was hyper-aware of the people swarming around them and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat when he saw a girl with a red peacoat.  There at one of the tables sat Marius' father-in-law, looking down at his coffee thoughtfully.  Marius opened the door for Cosette and as soon as he heard the little bell ring, Valjean looked up with a wide grin.

"Cosette!" he exclaimed as he stood and held open his arms.

"Papa!" Cosette let go of Marius' hand and ran towards Valjean for a hug.  Marius smiled and shook Valjean's hand as soon as he let go of Cosette.

"Hello, sir," he greeted.

"Hello, Marius.  Sit," Valjean smiled warmly at him and gestured at the table, pulling out a chair next to him for Cosette.

It was Valjean's commanding presence and protectiveness of his daughter that put Marius on edge.  He always felt like Valjean disapproved of him or like Valjean didn't think he treated Cosette well enough.  God knows Marius did everything he could for her, but he still felt inferior.

The breakfast was awkward for him, but the conversation flowed easily between Cosette and Valjean.  Valjean occasionally asked Marius questions, but Marius found it difficult to come up with adequate replies.  The other two, however, never ceased chatting for the entire visit and they took turns either eating or talking.  It wasn't like Marius had much to add anyway, as stated before, so after he had finished his toast, he stood up and claimed that he had to go to the bathroom.  In actuality, he had seen a couple walk in that reminded him of Grantaire and Enjolras.  He could have sworn an icicle drove through his heart when he locked eyes with the dark haired one.  Cosette nodded when he left the table but Valjean never took his eyes off of his daughter.

Marius took a deep breath and looked in the mirror.  At some point he had started sweating, so he washed his face and shook the front of his shirt.  He just needed a break from the business of the cafe and the awkwardness that he felt at the table.  He was happy Cosette had such a close relationship with her papa, but he still felt out of place when he talked to Valjean. He felt grateful to the man for saving his life and he had gotten Valjean's blessing before he proposed to Cosette, but he felt like Valjean didn't altogether approve of him anyway. He looked into his own eyes in the mirror and searched for something. Not finding it, he ran a hand through his hair and prepared himself for rejoining them.  

"Papa, he has nightmares."

Marius paused where he stood.  Were they talking about him?

"I know," Valjean answered her.

"How do you know that?"

"I see it in his eyes.  I know that look."

"What do I do about it?"

"There's not much you can do.  Does he get panicked in other situations also?"

"Yes, but that's not as often.  It's like he can't breathe and he doesn't hear me when he gets like that.  Sometimes he looks like he's not even with me, like he's beside me but his mind is far away."

Marius saw the back of Valjean's head nod and Cosette looked down at the table.  He didn't want them to worry about him - he just needed to learn to control himself.

"Listen, Cosette, I know you love him deeply.  I see that in _your_  eyes, darling.  Just give him time.  Support him, and help him breathe.  Help him breathe even when he doesn't seem to be panicking."

"But Papa, I'm not doing enough-"

Marius' eyes widened and he stepped forward to correct her.

"You're wrong, little mouse.  You're doing all you can and I know he appreciates it.  You're helping him more than you know.  Right, Marius?"

Marius flinched at his name.  Valjean turned around and put an arm around Cosette's chair.

"U-um, yes.  Yes, of course, love."

Cosette gave him a watery smile and he felt his heart thump loudly.  It wasn't a thump that hurt and he didn't hear phantom voices screaming for his help.  Valjean smiled gently at him and gestured for him to sit back down.  He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.


End file.
